Archive for September 23rd, 2010

Jaane bhi do yaaro..

Congress has always been my favorite party. It gives me so much to gossip about. It is not that BJP or other party is any better. But in Indian politics, we choose not the better candidate but “less bad” guy to represent us in Parliament. So when India thought that they have done a good job in giving a clear mandate to Congress to “lead” us, they actually did a great job in choosing the right party to lead the corrupt useless scoundrels flourishing for last 60 years.

Earlier I hate congress because I never understood why even after 60 years of independence we are still under-developed and poverty, illiteracy, corruption etc are so rampant. Congress pats its back for opening up the economy but one should ask who closed the economy at first place. We share a special relationship with all our neighbors – Pakistan, china, Nepal , Bangladesh and now Sri lanka too. In brief, we are surrounded by countries with whom we have conflicts in one way or other. The list is endless but must have to congratulate the gandhi (are they really “Gandhi” 🙂 )family for being successful in fooling the Indians for more than half a century.

Now I have found a better way to channelize my anger by amusing myself at the cost of the “con”gress.

Anyways, coming back to my favorite past time. Following is the list of my top 5 role models in the area of politics and best part is all are from Congress (oops one from National Congress Party) party. Sorry my Bengali, UP, and Marathi bros, even Mamata di, Mayawati behen and bhala manus – Raj Thakre couldn’t make the list. So here it goes..

We’ll start with No. 5

5. Manmohan Singh – The King (or the Jack)

Manmohan

Manmohan

looks like too many hats..except the crown..

Almost everybody must have a dream that they will change the shape of this country if they are made the PM of ths country. Of course no nobody wants to become a President as it is wasted office. But this chap who is the PM for more than 7 years is as helpless as President. What a pity, the two top positions of India – President and PM don’t hold power to change the country. What will you expect of others? I bet if you ask any youth in India to bet on current PM in a leadership poll, the answer will be “No. Pleaaase”.

4. A. Raja  – Raja” of all Tughlaqs

Raja scam

Raja scam

Remember the figure Rs 70000 crore. We’ll use it later also. Yes that’s the amount our exchequer has lost because of this “Raja” of all Tughlaqs.

But I get he “reserves” that place, as he is a SC. SC issues notice to another SC..huhh..Even the judiciary is politically motivated..

Well but now who can blow the whistle …CVC’s Thomas is even planning to stop the “whistle podu” ad for Chennai Super kings.

3. M.S. Gill – coined the term “spoilsportsmanship”

MS gill

MS Gill

Big Ol’ daddy and role model for all babudom of the country. No wonder sports is flourishing in the country. You win a local gulli danda tournament and he’ll be there to take credit but please don’t ask about CWG.

And special advice to the coaches…Make sure you get yourself introduced before he ignores you and if he does, do learn to ignore as you ignore the world class sports facilities in the country.

2. Sharad Pawar – Guardian of twin ministries – “rotting” grains and “bouncy” gains

pawar

Pawar

He is one of my favorites. I guess all politicians should learn from him. The country knows that Narayana Murthy has done country proud by creating and sharing wealth. But come to Maharashtra and you’ll come to know what “wealth creation” means. He takes it to a level never known before.

But forget sharing wealth, he don’t even believe in sharing “rotting food” to the poor. But can share some tips on Cricket …

  1. Suresh Kalmadi – All games and no sports..
kalmadi

kalmadi

And dhan te nan…well there is no better way than “kaminey” song to welcome the topper of my countdown…. Let’s play a quick game.. Type kalmadi on google and wait for a few seconds..  Google expects you to type “cwg”, “scam”, “issue”, “news”, “corruption”, “treadmill”, “jokes” etc. Going by the current rate of his popularity, he’ll even replace “santa” as joke king. Even Ranbir Kapoor is jealous of Mr. Kalmadi as he is the new poster boy of all news

CWG

CWG

channels. Pawar may be the biggest wealth creator, Kalmadi is surely the largest wealth sharer (wealth of commons – again the magical figure of 70000 cr).

Famous song “Munni badnam hui” has been christened as “Dilli badnaam hui Kalmadi tere liye…sadken bhi jaam hui CWG tere liye..” for CWG anthem.

Jaane bhi do yaaro.